FedEx and Neosporin
So this post might or might not get actually posted because WordPress is being dumb and my blog and dashboard aren’t even showing up and whatthefuck? because they were just there like two seconds ago? I think it happened because I stopped by The Bloggess and some of her karma decided to fuck with me. Seriously, folks. This chick just used eyelash glue to brush her teeth. Something is going on over there. Plus, she’s from Texas.
The exciting news is that I HAVE A NEW COMPUTER! The non-exciting news is that FEDEX WON’T FUCKING GIVE IT TO ME! I have been dreaming and dreaming of a netbook so I can consolidate ALL my writing from like twelve different computers and then just slip this slim, light little computer in my purse and take it with me everywhere! The WHN decided he needs a new laptop and they had a Deal where he could get a netbook with it for pretty cheap. So the netbook took like .014 seconds to get here but it’s in the clutches of FedEx! They don’t deliver in our neighborhood after 5 and we don’t get home until six. Or we can just sign the slip and then they will leave my new computer on the front porch. I don’t think so! Firstly, our neighbors are weird in that creepy homeowner’s association way and someone just might think the computer unsightly and decide to remove it! (Remind me to tell you about the time someone left a bottle of weed killer on our front porch. Oh, I just did. Well, we had just moved in and someone left a bottle of fucking weed killer on our front porch!) Or one of the many swarthy construction workers currently surrounding our house might just decide they need a new netbook for their blog about health care reform and Nigerian dwarf goats. Or I have to drive like a MILLION miles away to the scary FedEx warehouse in the scary neighborhood where I can see the interstate but can never get to it!
Freedom is within reach…aaaaargh if I can just get that computer!
In other news, I’ve got Neosporin in places I didn’t even know I had. Well, I guess I knew I had them but I never really considered them Neosporin-accepting locations.
Running when one is not a stick figure pretty much sucks. Ass. I’m running in my first race EVAR this weekend, a 10k, and have been training for quite a while. At a “husky” 5’8” and about 185 pounds, I’m not exactly a featherweight. While I’m in good shape and love working out, I’ve never spent so much time just simply running.
We’ll start with the plantar fasciitis, which is not in fact a botanical face fungus but this Thing Where your Heel Hurts a Lot. Then, there’s this rubbed red, raw area right under my boobs where my sports bras have apparently been irritating the CRAP out of me. And (and this is gross) my ass is irritated! My butt cheeks are rubbing and…there’s a big red irritated spot in the inner part of one cheek and it hurts like hell!
AND yesterday I ran outside and had to take my keys with me, so I hooked them over my pants and tucked them inside the waistband so they wouldn’t flop about. I’m allergic to metals so I either had an allergic reaction or a key was poking and scratching me because now I have the BIG red welt right on my upper panty line and it HURT like freakin Hell! I put some hydrogen peroxide on it last night and nearly fainted from pain.
So, after my bath last night I put on big cushy socks for my heels, the neosporined my boobs, my ass and my bikini line and put on a big t-shirt, comfy pants and NO UNDERWEAR! If you knew me you would gasp because I am a BIG underwear person and change mine like twice a day and NEVER do not have a pair on! And then I SLEPT without them on!
WHN (currently suffering from a head cold) mustered the strength to gaze at me somewhat inquisitively as I climbed into bed, and I gave him my best “in pain and have Neosporin in my ASS” glare and he wisely turned over and began whuffling.
Big race this weekend. Wish me luck!
